A Toddler’s Doubt
by Alfonso Sito Sasieta
I look up to my grandfather
plainly clad in black pants
black shirt & white collar
looking trustworthy, in large part
due to the eyes he was wearing
with his clothes. I do not recall
if I was three or four, only
that I asked him—
Grandpa, how do you know
that God is real?
My adult mind scans the past
for empty words & silky talk
of conviction. My mind tries
to conjure up an unfair caricature
of a man I knew. I did not know
how much it mattered to me
that he did not quote scripture
in this instance, that he did not
mention Anybody’s Letter
to the Hebrews, that he paused
to let my words soak
into the layers of black,
that he knew my question
was worthy of silence,
was even, perhaps,
the leap.
Alfonso “Sito” Sasieta is a caregiver, poet, dancer, and father. He lives in Maryland, outside of Washington DC, and he works in a L’Arche community where adults with and without intellectual disabilities share their lives together. Half Lutheran and half Chinese-Peruvian, he enjoys writing poems that explore the mixedness inherent in the musical, spiritual, linguistic backgrounds from each side of his family.
