Personal Theology
by Eric Machan Howd
I. The Father
My son banks on organ music
to lift his spirits. He listens
to the ranks of pipes speak their deep
advice from the loft as his church
fills with incense smoke and holy
wine meant to cleanse the soul.
He often reflects within his soul
on how his soft hands offer music
to his savior’s joy. The holy
act of practicing to listen
for mistakes makes his life a church
of spoiled effort and thinking deeply.
As he grows he believes he sees deep
patterns and repetitions that his soul
must navigate through. The church,
he says, has saved him, but I hate how music
has made him lazy and loathe how he listens
to the chords of all things holy.
II. The Son
My father doesn’t understand holy
things, confession, or my deep, deep
connection to sacrifice. He only listens
to the hammering of his roofs. His soul
is deaf to the needs of my music
and he never accompanies me to church.
He toils under his sky and his church
is made with ten-penny nails and holy
sweat. He works hard to forget the music
of his sordid past and the deep
notes of Taps from a cemetery bugle. His sole
purpose is to labor over those who listen.
Now, I have found a Father who listens
to the anthems I sing at church,
who respects my belief in the soul
and understands, completely, how holy
I have become in practicing the deep
harmonies of such heavenly music.
III. The Holy Ghost
When the soul is prepared to listen
to the music of the sky, the church
will reveal itself in the infinite deep.
Eric Machan Howd (Ithaca, NY) is a poet, musician, and educator. His fifth collection of poetry, Universal Monsters, was published by The Orchard Street Press in 2021. He is currently working on an erasure project using a work by author H.P. Lovecraft.
