from whence salvation

by Jean Anne Feldeisen

Once, when religion meant goodness,
my family sat all together
in a pew near the front on the left, sat
upright, and quiet, if not always reverent.

My sister and I wedged between Mom and Dad,
little brother contained under Dad's arm.
My sister's straight blond hair swung in my face
when we whispered together. Sunlight routed

through reds and blues of stained glass, loud
organ music vibrated in my belly. There was reading.
Reciting and repeating. Dad's bold tenor
poured out familiar hymns. This interminable

sitting still the start of every Sunday of our lives.
We older girls listen, scramble to understand
the big words─ Salvation, Sacrifice,
God's Love for His People. One thing we understand:

we in this pew are God's people. They hand out
our values along with gold pins and white Bibles. Our
places assured as we take our seats and profess to
believe the words we recite.

And we believe that God loves us and forgives us,
even me who just yesterday stole a velvety bite of Dad's
Hershey Bar from his forbidden top bureau drawer.
Even my sister who kicks the baby under the table
to make him cry.

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Jean Anne Feldeisen is a practicing psychotherapist, a grandmother, and a writer. She has written for Next Avenue, Chicken Soup for the Soul, and is a host for the Crows Feet: Life As We Age Podcast. Her poetry has been published in Thimble Literary Magazine," “The Raven’s Perch,” "The Hopper," and "Spank the Carp." Her first poetry chapbook, Not All Are Weeping, was released in May of 2023 by Main Street Rag Publishing Company. Follow her at jeanfeldeisen.com